My childhood

When I was growing up my biological father and mother were very abusive.  When my mother left she met my step father when I was 7years old.  They got married and everything seemed fine at first.  When I was 11 years old I had a nightmare and crawled into bed with my parents thinking I would be safe.  Little did I know I was wrong.  My step father raped me.  Because of how young  I was I had no idea what happened to me.  He continued to molest me for three years.  By the time I figured out what happened my mother was such an oblivious drunk she never paid attention. She often came up with excuses for him and because he was a police officer I didn't think anyone would believe me.  It was later that I found out he did it to not only one of my friends but 5 other girls.  My siblings and I were taken away and placed with my grandparents. Two years later they became too ill to take care of us. We were then separated and placed in foster care. I could sit here all night and tell you my ups and downs in foster care but I wont. I will however say that my second set of foster parents were the best and I still to this day think of them as parents to me.  Since my abuse I have suffered from PTSD and had to deal with it.  My step dad took so much from me.  He gave me HPV which now has caused me cervical dysplasia and several painful miscarriages.  Because of him I can not sleep on my back, in pitch dark or with the bedroom door closed in fear that someone will hurt me again.  I can not get dressed with so much as a sliver of window exposed in fear someone will watch me get dressed just as he did.  What I hope to get out of this is help other girls going through what I went through. Help them cope and go to someone for help without being in fear and if that person is me than well my job is done and I would love to help someone.  I want to help people deal with every day struggles because trust me, it never goes away. You have good days and bad days. I hope by doing this I can help and prevent girls from going through years of abuse like I did.  STAND UP AND SPEAK UP trust me, I know its scary but you have to, not only for yourself but for any other future victims. Thank you for reading this and God Bless